Give Me Sugar!

Trixie's blog of sugary wishes. Provided to torment and entice the best of sugar daddies!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Two Massages this Week

On Friday, I enjoyed my second massage that week. Professional, one-hour massages that I paid to enjoy in a spa. It seemed excessive -- two massages in the space of five days -- but it felt SO GOOD!

I hate to admit this, but I still feel guilty about "indulging" myself and my body through massage and other things people consider frivolous luxuries. I *know* I shouldn't feel guilty about it -- I DO NOT WANT TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT -- but I do. I feel like I need to defend myself and I worry that other people are judging me for treating myself to things that feel good. Here are some of the lines I feel like I always need to have at the ready, or things that I say whenever I mention to anyone (online or offline) that I've gotten (or I'm about to get) more massage:

I know I can't afford it but it's ten dollars off this week. * After all of the hours I spend sitting at the computer working, massage is a necessity to help prevent headaches; I can't afford to have more headaches! * I'm not using OUR money, I'm using extra money I earned from talking to my wanker on the phone. * I know, I'm so *lucky* to have time and money to get massage; some people don't even have three meals a day or work so many hours at three different jobs they never get to spoil themselves that way! * I know massage seems like a luxury, but really it's THERAPEUTIC, just like getting exercise or taking medicine when you're sick. is therapeutic, too. It's a project I started for fun but also to confront & deal with these messages of shame that are burned into our brains saying we don't DESERVE to feel good, to possess beautiful things, to have time and stuff all to our individual selves.

When I tell people how much massage I'm getting (not nearly "enough" -- I don't think I could ever have TOO much massage), it's almost like I have to apologize for trying to feel good, as though somehow it's only acceptable to spend an hour having your body rubbed by someone you hired if you insist that you only did it because you feel really, REALLY bad. Like you're not allowed to take care of yourself unless you're totally sick.

I should not feel guilty about giving myself pleasure, or obtaining pleasure from other people who tell me it pleases them to provide it, or from paying someone money to give me pleasure so that I am free to enjoy it rather than obligated to reciprocate or try to guess what the person wants in return. I shouldn't feel the need to demonstrate to other people ways that I've denied myself, scrimped, saved, or worked a million hours to "earn" the right to feel good. I shouldn't feel the need to compare myself to those who are less fortunate than I am and protest that I recognize I'm no more worthy than them, I'm just blessed (and certainly don't DESERVE to be). I shouldn't be limited to only having the NECESSITIES in life. I shouldn't have to explain to people that what I do IS work or list a bunch of sacrifices I've made in order to qualify for pleasure. And neither should any other woman. I actually DETEST hearing women minimize their worth like that, apologizing for behaving in ways or experiencing things they supposedly don't have a RIGHT to do or have or feel.

It's not paranoia that makes me feel judged, it's the truth. Since the advent of the internet, women and especially teenage girls have been judged extremely harshly for "taking advantage" of sugar daddies. Girls with wishlists and webcams and paypal accounts and online donation/tip jars and mailboxes rented under pseudonyms have been criticized, lectured, demeaned, patronized, and blamed for all kinds of stupid things. For getting what they want "the easy way". As though what they provide in return is necessarily "easy" or as if there's something inherently wrong with gaining something without giving up more. As though you should refuse when someone offers to give you something. As usual, women are told we're at fault for benefiting from the weaknesses of men. For upsetting the balance where we're only supposed to be AFRAID of (or submit to) what men want to thrust upon us rather than exploiting it in calculated, unapologetic, gleeful ways according to our own rules. There are men who want to tip the balance back in our favor, too; people who see the system and society's standards as skewed and upside-down and want to restore us to our natural position in which we have what they want, and they pay to (try to) get it. While it may seem dysfunctional to some, it's just a response to and part of the greater dysfunction in the world.

The world growls at women who show pride or a sense of entitlement, "What, does she think she's SPECIAL or something?" "There are a million women just like her; what makes her think she's SPECIAL?" Women shouldn't have to apologize for recognizing that they are special and behaving accordingly. And yet, we do. *I* still do. So as an exercise in overcoming that, you may buy me massage and spa time ranging from thirty minutes to a whole day of indulgence:

You may also send cash -- MY FAVORITE -- or a gift certificate to my favorite spa straight to my snail-mailbox:
Trixie Fontaine
1240 W. Sims Way #7
P0rt T0wnsend, WA 98368
If I could buy the whole world a massage, I totally would! In the meantime, I'm going to enjoy as many massages as you will buy me. And practice not feeling guilty, instead just reveling in every pleasurable moment of having my favorite lesbian massage babe rub hot oil all over me!

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Thursday, July 24, 2008

Put my Mouth on THIS!

I've experimented with a couple of cheap microphones for podcasting and recording sexy stories for members of my site, and neither of them have created sound worth celebrating. As a result, I've been less than enthused about recording my voice. Recently I got a tip from a friend regarding this relatively inexpensive (less than $100) microphone that's gotten rave reviews from podcasters and singers alike:

buy my sexy microphone

If you'd like to buy it for me, you can do so HERE from my top-twenty wishlist. You can purchase it either as a gift, or if you'd like I can set you up with a six month membership to my site in return. I would really appreciate it as I can't justify spending the money on it when we need new hard drives and other essentials, but at the same time I can't justify making recordings with shoddy equipment which means those who like hearing my voice are really missing out.

If you purchase it and want to get a membership in return, just email me with proof (or include a note when you buy it on Amazon with your email address) and I'll write back with your username and password.

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Saturday, February 09, 2008

Victoria's Secret Wishlist

Many guys enjoy shopping for gifts at Victoria's Secret; it's familiar and erotically-charged for them. Despite some challenges with their wish list system, I've compiled a new one especially for you: CLICK HERE FOR MY WISHLIST!

There seems to be a limit to how many things you can put on your list which means I wasted a lot of time compiling a wide array of items that I then couldn't even share on my wishlist. Lame. But perhaps it's all for the best, as now I am limited to choosing to share jut a few that caught my eye. There are heels, sexy dresses, satin panties, and more.

FYI: these are just ideas; feel free to select anything you'd like to see me wearing and shoot for these sizes:

PANTIES: small or medium
BRAS: 34D or 34DD
TOPS: medium
DRESSES/PJ's: small or medium, size 6 or 8 ish (it sort of depends on the cut of the thing).

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Friday, February 08, 2008

SO cute!

Another Valentine (or any time) idea:

Ruffled Mesh Chemise

Go for a size MEDIUM in this case. There are also two other color options: hot pink leopard and red/black but the one I posted in the picture is my favorite.

I think outfits are sexy that are made to look as though the top is being pulled DOWN and the hem is being pulled UP, like the fingers of God trying to reach out and sneak a peak.

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Valentine Pajamagram?

Now is the time when we're all being bombarded by advertisements to get your someone-special something-expensive, like a diamond engagement ring (to show your love, right?) or . . . a PAJAMAGRAM!

I'm in need of a flattering (yet cozy) robe, so this would do the trick nicely:

sexy red valentine robe

If you're watching me on my spycams, it would be easier for you to see me wake up every morning and don the red robe you got me than it would a diamond ring. In that respect it's a very practical gift, for you AND for me.

If you'd like to make it a matching set, I like the long red gown OR the short set.

A size small would be best.


Saturday, December 15, 2007

Dalia's Dunyavi Gypsy Dance DVDs

I would love to get Dalia Carella's two instructional dvd's and the cd. Years ago I was able to borrow Volume 1 on VHS from my bellydance teacher to prepare for a little community performance, and I *loved* it.

One of the things I like about the style is that she's researched the dance of the Rom and it's not a style that a lot of people in the dance community are familiar with so there's a little less pressure to try to be fucking awesome at it they way there's all that goth snobbery surrounding tribal fusion, etc. It's an enjoyable way to dance and has a lot of that haughty upright confidence plus a lot of kicking and skirt flipping which is really fun.

It's a very commanding dance style, which is well suited to someone in my special position.

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